Being the mother of two, I’m used to child-proofing my house. I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot have breakable decorations below doorknob level for another 5 years, nor can I leave snacks on side-tables, and it would be disastrous if I were to leave my hot cocoa unattended for more than 3.4 seconds. I slowly came to terms with all of this when my daughter was born, and I had accepted my fate… then he came. My dreaded (very loved, but oh so feared) second born.
For the last 6 months, I have been learning all of the things my first born graciously left alone… like our office space, our freezer, our toilets, etc. my second born, hereafter lovingly referred to as Destructo-boy, loves playing in the toilet bowl if the door is left open. He especially loves to tote the toilet cleaning brush all around the house getting who knows what all over my floors. Side-note, I have since mopped once, so if you have been to my house… don’t be concerned about the cleanliness.
So, as you can imagine, I’ve kept Amazon in business by the sheer amount of child locks I have purchased in the last year. My last purchase: a lock for my oven… no, that is not a typo. My toddler has taken to sticking his head into the oven. Before you judge, the oven has been off every time, and no toddlers were harmed during the writing of this blog. After the second time I caught him gazing into the warm glow of the oven light, I decided I needed to play some defense when I was preheating the oven… either stand by the oven until my goods were baked, or follow Kooper around with a butterfly net… neither of which suit my lifestyle of wanting to be a normal, sleep deprived toddler mom.
After a few days of playing ‘keep away from the oven’ finally the lock arrived and never have I been so relieved and yet so frustrated at the same time. Someday, unlocking the oven will become my new normal. For now, my sigh heard around the world will come after being denied access to my oven the first time trying to open it.
XOXO,
A traumatized mama.
P.S. All of a sudden I wonder if Sylvia Plath was suicidal or just looking for her toddler…
Link to the oven lock in case I’m not the only one!
Hello there!
I’m Jessica, a mama of two toddlers. I love my kids more than my own life, but I also have days where I consider putting them up for adoption even this late in the game (kidding…kind of). I wanted a place to write about my toddler trauma, but also to be a respite for mamas who might be going through the same thing. Someone else to bring a sense of humor to daily struggles they may be experiencing as well. So, if you too are a tired mama, then to you, I say: Welcome to my scattered pantry.